I have so much to talk about and not enough brain power to type it. sorry in advance but I’m not the best when it comes to writing. iv always had a passion but never enough smarts to put whats in my head in writing and not make it look dumb. I guess practice makes perfect so what the heck lets give it a shot well, here I lay in my bed once again trying to not sleep. to this day it makes no sense to me. I love sleep…a lot yet I always seem to stay awake as long as I can. I believe it was Warren Zevon who said “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” I guess I’m awake though because of the pending operation. its a long story but here you are, so strap in sally.I joined the Navy right out of high school. I didn’t have much for dreams. all I really wanted in life was a family. but none the less gotta make money, and me not being too big in the smarts department kinda stopped the collage idea. BTW I’m glad I didn’t go. I left with two thoughts in my head. 1. GET ME OUT OF HERE2. I hope my girlfriend comes with meWell, I succeeded and shortly after finishing boot camp and my other schooling I was on my way to Virginia with my now wife. and life was great the end…not yet though. my job in the navy was boilers. I was a machinist mate. it is a hard, dirty and grueling job. most of the sailors on the ship practically had a 9-5 type job…. but the engineers..well no dice. we would work a 6×6 shift nonstop the whole time we were underway. that means I work 6 hours on and 6 hours off. over and over and over and you get the point.the 6 on wasn’t so bad after awhile. but my 6 off well I have 6 hours to eat, shower shave do laundry. 6 hours to study for advancement. oh and that’s right you gotta sleep at some point. and this was every day of the week. no days off. I’ve never been a smoker. but I would pretend to just to use the smoke deck(it was the only time I got to see sunlight). understand though, I would never give it back. I love my country and the job I did for it. which leads me to the tough part of the story. for this is what changed my life forever. being a machinist mate means that you work at the bottom of the ship. well, one fine day aboard the ship called the USS WASP I was heading out to work. I had just had some breakfast and was eager to go. we were on the Atlantic ocean heading for Spain. the mission bringing back our marines who just got done fighting in the Iraq war. we were about two days out from making port. I headed out of the mess hall and over to the hanger bay. from there it was DOWN DOWN DOWN. like I said the bottom of the ship. then it happened the moment that changed me forever. I reach the last ladder…then well I’m not sure if I was all me. or if it was the ship rocking. or just both….but I fell. I fell straight down 7ft directly on the side of my right foot. what resulted was a 5’8 230lb man fractured the bones on the outside of his foot. and severed all but one tendon in his ankle. the one still attached well it was barely there. so to wrap it up that moment ended my career in the navy. after waiting about a year I was able to have the operation to reattach my tendons( they thought I was crying wolf) now I’m not sure if it was because it took so long or just because….but the operation didn’t work out so well. I would never be 100% what I was…fast forward to now, and I’m having a second crack at the operation. this Tuesday to be exact. a lot changed since then. I got a job at a foundry I’m still married to my high school sweetie and I have three beautiful Daughters(and guns I have guns. and I have my marksmen medal too).so I’m a mix of emotions right now. I’m off work and gonna be that way until August. problem is as much as I bitch about it, I like to go to work. I feel guilty being home like this. and now that I’m having the surgery I’m really not gonna be much help to my wife. I’m going mad. heck, I’m writing a blog.